Teh Spelling Nazi Guide 2 Modern Song Titlez

A warning to all slack songwriters and grammar-phoneys that fail to cross the Ts and dot the Is – your days are numbered… and spelled correctly.

The music industry is nothing if not diverse. Every style and genre has its heroes and its has-beens, its legends and its laughing stocks. Into this mix strides Katy Perry, American singer-songwriter, who has recently not only taken the heart of sex-crazed Russell Brand but also the top spot in both the UK and US charts. The name of her opus? California Gurls.

Well, thank the gods of music that intentional misspelling is no obstacle to chart success. To be fair, in today’s music industry the platforms from which to buy, share and listen to music are continually increasing, so artists can be forgiven for trying to find ways to stand out.

Captivating Katy is not alone in this though. Sporting song titles that would make the laziest of ‘leetspeakers’ blush, here’s a whole bunch of songsters who have got sloppy with their spelling.

Britney Spears: I’m a Slave 4 U

Classic, no-nonsense text speak – why use 6 letters when 2 will easily suffice? Too bad Britney’s marriages tend to be 3 times shorter these days as well.

Pussycat Dolls: Don’t Cha

Fortunately these pretty kitties are as happy stripping off unnecessary layers as they are letters from their song titles.

Usher: Twork It Out

Like OMG! It would be better if you hush-er your mouth because when it comes to spelling, you got it bad Usher.

Gwen Stefani: Hollaback Girl

Unless Gwen is singing about a woman born without a spine, then there’s no excuse for this. It’s bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s!

Black Eyed Peas: Imma Be

It’s almost tempting to let these guys off since they draw a certain amount of influence from rap. As we all know though, in rap, bad spelling is no biggie…

Nelly Furtado: Trynna Finda Way

Blame Canada? Blame Nelly? Just don’t blame it on the language.

Jennifer Lopez: Baby I ♥ U!

Someone should have told Jen that grammar Don’t Cost A Thing. Although this might be a little unfair, since ‘you’ was the first casualty in our War of the Words, becoming ‘U’ on every adolescent’s phone and computer screen in the world. As for the heart symbol, perhaps this nasty afflecktation was a result of the Bennifer break-up.

50 Cent: Ryder Music, Gunz Come Out, and oh-so-many more…

Outta Control? Yes, I’ll say. His high school teachers must be particularly pissed at this massacre of the English language. Hate it or love it? Hate, actually. No, really – we don’t agree with you, Mr Cent. We can only hope that your Magic Stick is a pencil with a really good eraser at the top or that Ayo Technology is a decent spell-checker.

P!nk: Missundaztood

Scandalous in her blatant disregard for English and exclamation marks, this little lady should be turning Moulin Rouge with embarrassment.

Mariah Carey: Thanx 4 Nothin’, Betcha Gon’ Know, 4real4real

Mariah has recently been sued for failing to pay her veterinary bills. Clearly she’s not paying whoever is vetting her song titles either.

Shania Twain: Up!, I’m Gonna Getcha Good!

Even the idyllic, guitar-twanging tracks of Shania are not immune to some needless letter-shaving and even using an emoticon in an album title. Correct spelling and contractions – never the Twain shall meet.

Avril Lavigne: Sk8er Boi

It seems Avril has seriously Let Go of her ability to form coherent words. That really gets Under My Skin! For her to go on a spelling course would be The Best Damn Thing.